"Our kids called him several hours after he had arrived, and that is when I discovered that the boys weekend was actually a couples' weekend sans me. My husband said that the host and hostess did not invite me as we have young kids, and they knew that we did not have anybody to watch them. They also stated that they were worried that if he'd known it was a couples weekend, and that I couldn't come, he would have stayed home, too."
"Yours is an interesting etiquette problem, because it is a case where the modern penchant for giving everyone around us our immediate, honest reactions can go badly wrong. Miss Manners says this because her first impression of what you describe is very bad indeed. And, for that reason, she knows you will first want to be sure of your facts."
A husband attended what he thought was a boys' weekend but arrived to find friends' wives and a female neighbor present, turning it into a couples' weekend without his wife being invited. The wife learned of the situation hours later and felt excluded and hurt that her husband neither informed her nor objected to the omission. Hosts reportedly cited childcare concerns and feared the husband would have stayed home if his wife could not attend. Multiple attendees participated in concealing the true nature of the gathering, undermining trust. Verify facts before responding, because immediate, unfiltered reactions can worsen social situations and misunderstandings.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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