"It's frigid cold here these days, but that didn't stop a huge turnout for a very popular food truck. The lines were pretty long, both to order and to pick up. People passed the 15-20 minutes chatting with each other and joking about the cold. An elderly man (late 70s, maybe?) pulled up in his car with (I assume) his wife in the passenger seat."
"I approached her and whispered that the gentleman behind her looked like he was struggling, and that it would be nice if she offered to hold his place in line. That way, he could return to the car until it was his turn to order. She looked blankly at me and said, What man? I indicated the gentleman behind her."
"It is awkward to suggest that someone else engage in an act of kindness on one's behalf. While your intentions were good, this woman was not likely to have been paying attention to your position and was probably wondering why you did not offer to stand in line for this man yourself. Miss Manners suggests that if the situation comes up again, you alert the food truck workers and enlist their help."
A crowded food-truck line in cold weather left an elderly man using a cane standing while his wife waited in the car. A bystander noticed and suggested to a woman ahead that she hold the man's place so he could warm up, but the woman ignored the request. Suggesting that someone else perform an act of kindness can be awkward because they may expect the suggester to act instead. Practical responses include alerting food-truck staff to assist, asking the companion in the car to hold items, or personally offering to stand in line for the vulnerable person. Enlisting others' help is recommended.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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