"It's a very easy date to miss altogether in the shadow of December and New Year's celebrations. Growing up, I often received combo holiday and birthday presents. I was taught to thank relatives and friends and not complain that it wasn't fair. Nowadays, an e-card can be scheduled for auto-delivery to someone's inbox months in advance, so it's not even necessary to remember someone's birthday."
"I am an adult, not a 5-year-old, but is there a way to remind friends of my actual birthday without coming across as petty or ungrateful that they remembered me at all? Last year, I waited the few days after New Year's to send thank-yous on my actual birthday, with a note that my birthday plans got washed out today (it usually rains on my birthday) but I still enjoyed myself, and then I mention what I did to celebrate."
"Shortchanging a child on holidays is mean, and Miss Manners finds it sad that it has left you dissatisfied with the birthday acknowledgments you get now. But you are grown up, and well aware that these are now generated mechanically. It is not as though your well-wishers and they are well-wishers are freshly moved each year to congratulate you. Somehow a mix-up has occurred, perhaps even without their realizing it."
Birthdays that fall near major holidays are easy to overlook, and automated e-cards can be scheduled in advance so senders may not actually remember the date. Some people received combined holiday and birthday gifts growing up and were taught to accept them graciously. A handwritten card for display remains a preferred personal gesture, but electronic messages are common and convenient. Subtle hints about celebrating on the actual birthday may go unnoticed. Mechanical scheduling or simple mix-ups likely explain mistimed greetings. A polite direct reminder or accepting the well-wishes without complaint are reasonable responses.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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