Miss Manners: I didn't intend it as a gag gift, but they laughed at it all night

"A co-worker invited a few people and their spouses over to watch a popular sporting event. After everyone in the office bombarded him with questions about what to bring, he insisted we bring nothing. Never having met his wife or having been to his home, I brought a seasonal hand soap as a small thank-you for hosting us. They both laughed at the gesture. In fact, it was a running gag"

"I live in a rural area where cellphone reception and internet service can be spotty, which sometimes results in calls being dropped without warning. Callers who are accustomed to infallible technology can be baffled by this. I've even been accused of having hung up on someone! But more commonly, an awkward exchange ensues, where each person tries to call the other back simultaneously and can't get through. In order to avoid this, I've gotten into the habit"

Hostess gifts are no longer an automatic obligation and can be withheld if hosts mock the gesture. A small token can be met with ridicule, and guests may choose not to bring gifts or to avoid socializing with hosts who belittle offerings. In areas with spotty cellphone and internet coverage, dropped calls and simultaneous callbacks create awkwardness. Establishing beforehand who will call back after an interruption reduces confusion. Technology evolves faster than customary rules, and technical experts may be needed to explain the underlying causes of connection problems.

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