Many Couples Don't Make It Through This Challenging Stage Of A Relationship

"At their best, romantic relationships are joyous and fulfilling, a safe place to land, a partnership through the good and bad. Getting to that point, though, takes two people willing to confront their unhealthy patterns, unspoken expectations and communication shortcomings... All of this is to be expected, except a lot of us still don't expect it because we hardly ever get to see the difficulties of relationships reflected back to us"

"If we never see the messy middle, it's no wonder so many of us freak out when the honeymoon phase ends in a relationship and it feels like all we do is fight, or feel distraught when icky feelings like disappointment or resentment pop up. But you can stay calm, because the period that comes after the all-consuming infatuation of the honeymoon phase is commonly known as the "power struggle" phase - and it basically happens in every romantic relationship (albeit to varying degrees)."

"The power struggle phase usually comes on between roughly six months to two years, but it varies from couple to couple. This stage is a normal, even necessary, rite of passage on the path to deeper intimacy, but it can feel really scary when you're in the thick of it. Many couples break up at this stage, because the power struggle can feel so painful, and most of us have so few healthy examples of couples overcoming their power struggle."

The post-honeymoon period commonly becomes a power struggle during which unspoken resentments, unmet expectations, and communication gaps surface. This phase most often appears between roughly six months and two years, though timing varies by couple. The phase operates as a normal, sometimes necessary, rite of passage toward deeper intimacy but can feel frightening and painful and prompts many breakups. Cultural narratives and lack of visible examples of messy relationship work contribute to surprise and shame when difficulties arise. Navigating this stage requires naming resentments, confronting unhealthy patterns, improving communication, and building healthier relational habits.

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