""Love smattering" involves occasional loving comments or gestures that narcissists deploy in relationships. Comments or gestures are isolated, idealistic, insincere, and manipulative. These comments often occur after the person has been caught doing something sneaky or hurtful. Just as love-bombing is a manipulation, so is "love-smattering," a term I use to describe the occasional kindness your narcissistic partner shows you (not an official or diagnostic term)."
"Different from love bombing, love-smattering is subtle, inconsistent, and occurs after the narcissist has had time to dismantle your confidence with mischaracterizations, criticisms, and false accusations. Compared to their usual insensitivity and thoughtlessness, a narcissist's nice comment or small gesture may make you feel as if you overreacted in the past, or that they are making permanent changes. Although it is a good thing to give a partner the benefit of the doubt and accolades for growing, do not be bamboozled."
A narcissist may begin a relationship with love-bombing—lavishing compliments, agreeing excessively, and rushing to appear heroic—to gain trust and investment. Over time, criticism, derision, dismissiveness, and antagonism can replace initial idealization, leaving the partner doubting the narcissist's affection. Occasional compliments or small gestures—termed 'love-smattering'—are isolated, insincere, and often follow sneaky or hurtful behavior. These gestures are subtle, inconsistent, and timed after the narcissist has dismantled confidence through mischaracterizations, criticisms, or false accusations. A brief kind remark can make the partner feel they overreacted or that permanent change is occurring. Such maneuvers can manipulate the partner into staying despite ongoing emotional harm; caution is advised when interpreting sporadic kindness.
Read at Psychology Today
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