A Love Island scene showed a contestant asking his partner if anything he does bothers her after he accidentally skipped her during a yoga class. The exchange modeled a calm invitation to raise concerns and an acknowledgement of the mistake. Conflict should not be avoided. Conflict is normal and healthy and can be essential to deepening intimacy, understanding, and connection. Experts offer guidance on approaching conflict with romantic partners, family members, and co-workers. The same principles—direct communication, curiosity, acknowledgement, and repair attempts—apply across situations and can improve interpersonal dynamics even in high-pressure environments.
Reality TV is generally not the first place one should turn to find models of effective communication. That's why it was shocking to watch a scene in the latest season of Love Island US, in which Chris, a basketball player, asks the woman he's seeing Huda, a fitness influencer if there's anything he does that bothers her. It affects his mood when something goes wrong, but I'm confused about what happened, he says.
It was a surprisingly mature conversation for Love Island, a show where attractive singles in skimpy swimsuits get locked in a villa for several weeks and try to find love. It can be difficult to approach conflict in a healthy way in such a high-pressure environment: on-air conflict tends to involve contestants shouting over each other and hurling insults. So what does healthy conflict actually look like, and how do you practice it?
The first thing to know about conflict is that it should not be avoided. Conflict is normal and healthy, says Rachel Moheban Wachtel, a licensed clinical social worker in New York who has worked extensively with couples. Conflict can be essential to deepening intimacy, understanding and connection, she says. If she gets mad at her husband, and he notices her reaction is disproportionate to the situation which happens all the time with couples it's an opportunity for him to learn what's going on with me, she explains.
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