Let's be blunt British people need to stop being so polite | Polly Hudson

"Is it cold in your house? This was revolutionary. I've been freezing in so many homes, but it had never occurred to me to make temperature inquiries in advance so I could wear a thicker jumper or thermals. Even if I'd had the idea, I probably wouldn't have followed through for fear of appearing rude, preferring instead to slowly lose the feeling in my toes. But here was proof that, for a host, this kind of query is welcome after all, most people want their guests to be comfortable and have a nice time."

"I'd love one, thanks, but I'm really particular about how I take my tea, and then explained exactly how they wanted it. I was staggered and haunted by the memory of the many weak, milky cups of torture I'd politely endured in the past. I'm also particular about how I take my tea who isn't? but I've never thought to mention it in such detail. Again, if I had, I would have worried I'd be seen as demanding and difficult."

"Life is too short for being unnecessarily cold, or suffering through an accidental insult of a cuppa. In fact, there are so many things that we don't do, or say, that we definitely should. So, inspired by these maverick heroes, I'm starting now."

Direct communication about personal preferences, such as temperature comfort or how one takes tea, is often welcomed rather than viewed as rude. Many people suffer through uncomfortable situations—being cold, drinking poorly-made tea, or enduring unwanted social interactions—out of fear of appearing demanding or difficult. However, hosts generally appreciate knowing their guests' needs to ensure comfort. Similarly, social obligations like sitting with acquaintances during travel are not actually mandatory. Life is too short to endure unnecessary discomfort or follow unspoken rules that no one truly enforces. By communicating preferences clearly and honestly, people can improve their own experiences and those of others around them.

Read at www.theguardian.com