"Let me start with a confession: At 12 years old, I was absolutely convinced that Shaun Cassidy was my soulmate. This wasn't some casual crush-I was writing fan-fiction, breaking out in hives watching The Hardy Boys, and genuinely believing this TV heartthrob would find his way from Beverly Hills to my tiny Vancouver Island town and sweep me off my feet. Spoiler alert: Shaun never showed up. Turns out he was not my soulmate after all."
"The concept of soulmates-that we're born with half a soul searching for our perfect match-is psychological poison. Think about the prescription for suffering this creates: You have 50 percent of what you need to be happy, and unless you find the one person out of billions who has your other half, you'll always be miserable and incomplete. What a load of nonsense."
"Yet this subconscious template runs deep, leading us to act as though it is our partner's job to make us happy, to light us up, to bring passion into our lives. When they inevitably fail at this impossible task-because no one can make us happy all the time-we start scanning the horizon for someone better. The Sad Truth About Modern Love So, is long-term love dead?"
A childhood infatuation shows how soulmate fantasies form early and create unrealistic expectations. The soulmate concept suggests incomplete individuals must find one perfect other to be whole. That belief makes partners responsible for constant happiness and passion, an impossible demand. When partners inevitably fail, people start searching for someone better. Rising divorce rates and later regret indicate many relationships suffer from unmet expectations and lack of relational skills. Couples commonly fall into complacency, drift, and avoidable conflict instead of practicing sustained effort. Dispelling the soulmate myth and focusing on skillful, committed relationship work supports long-term love.
Read at Psychology Today
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