"According to the bird theory, a resurgent talking point on social media, showing curiosity about such a minor event proves you're genuinely interested in your partner. This, in turn, means you have a good relationship. Is it really that deep? Or does it reveal something more fundamental about how we think about romance right now? Here are the dos and don'ts of bird theory and the science-backed reasons this trend hits such a nerve."
"In 2022, the researcher and psychologist Julie Gottman explained the concept of a bid for connection in the New York Times. She explained it is best defined as an attempt to receive attention, affirmation or affection from a partner. Is love addiction real and what does it look like? She gave an example: Wow, look at that beautiful bird out the window! This simple exclamation is an invitation for a partner to notice something with you."
Bird theory treats small, everyday moments of shared attention as meaningful tests of relationship responsiveness. A bid for connection is defined as an attempt to receive attention, affirmation, or affection from a partner. Bids can be verbal or nonverbal, small or large, positive or negative, and include simple exclamations or sighs. Turning toward or acknowledging bids is a key relational skill linked to relationship stability. Longitudinal research of newlyweds showed markedly higher response rates among couples who stayed together versus those who divorced. The concept has reappeared on social media as the “bird test.”
Read at www.theguardian.com
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