"A new tragedy is being mourned over on TikTok when it comes to modern love. It's a sense of power dynamics known as the " swag gap." This specifically refers to a subtle but undeniable imbalance felt in " coolness " between two partners. When one person just seems to have it, and the other simply doesn't. Maybe one partner, the seemingly "cooler one," walks into every room like they own it, perfectly styled and effortlessly confident,"
"A large-scale, longitudinal 2021 study published in PLOS One examined how self-esteem and perceptions of relationship conflict influence each other over time. Researchers studied nearly 1,100 young adult couples. They found that feeling less confident or less valued in the relationship can make someone more sensitive to conflict, while repeated exposure to conflict further erodes self-esteem. There is a dyadic interplay between both and it illustrates how feeling overshadowed can quietly affect both personal confidence and the overall emotional health of the relationship."
The 'swag gap' names a perceived coolness imbalance where one partner appears effortlessly confident while the other feels overshadowed. The dynamic arises from social comparison and can erode the less 'cool' partner's self-esteem, prompting withdrawal and internalized inadequacy. Longitudinal research of nearly 1,100 young adult couples links reduced confidence and perceived low value to greater sensitivity to conflict, and ongoing conflict further degrades self-esteem, indicating a dyadic interplay. Swag-based disparities also shift perceived power within relationships, affecting who leads decisions and altering emotional balance and overall relational wellbeing.
Read at Psychology Today
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