Is Ghosting Inevitable?

"Any new technology created for the purpose of human connection also creates an opportunity for novel forms of missed connection: the envelope returned to sender, the unanswered phone call, the forlorn voice mail. We replace face-to-face interaction with layers of mediation, each with its own chance of breakdown. The fear of losing touch is rooted in human nature; in eleventh-century Japan, women of the imperial court fretted in the hours following a tryst, as they waited for the customary morning-after poem from their lover."

"Proust wrote that the "silence of the person one loves" is "more cruel than the silence of prisons." Social media, which was supposed to bring humanity closer together, has also created a smorgasbord of new ways to be rejected-D.M.s left on read, posts gone unliked, friends unfriended-that can engender the age-old fear of being ignored. Facebook users might recall a time when a declined friend request or unrequited poke could be sources of anxiety."

New technologies designed for social connection introduce fresh opportunities for missed contact, from returned envelopes to unanswered calls and forlorn voicemails. In-person interaction has been replaced by mediated channels, each prone to breakdown. Historical anxieties about silence and missed signals persist across cultures and eras. Social media multiplies ways to experience rejection — messages left unread, posts unliked, friends unfriended — and intensifies fear of being ignored. The most painful form of rejection is total disappearance, known as ghosting, in which communication ceases without explanation. Smartphones and always-on platforms facilitate round-the-clock contact while enabling abrupt withdrawal.

Read at The New Yorker