"There is no such thing as completely guaranteed safety-in general life, and especially with activities reserved for adults like consuming alcohol or getting beaten for fun. To linger on the booze metaphor, there's a world of difference between pouring yourself a whiskey from a bottle produced by the factory of a known, well-managed brand, and leaving your red Solo cup of home-brewed moonshine unattended for half an hour at a venue full of folks you've never met before in your life."
"I've learned that I particularly enjoy impact play and pain, and I've found a regular Dom who provides that for me and also takes amazing care of me. It's been the most incredible release of my life. I'm often left with marks and bruises for days or weeks after, which I also love. My stress and anxiety have reduced dramatically, and my mental health is the best it's ever been."
A person who previously had a vanilla marriage now explores kink and BDSM, especially impact play and pain, with a regular Dom who provides care. The consensual scenes often leave marks and bruises, and have reduced stress and anxiety and improved mental health. 'Safe, sane, and consensual' has shifted toward 'risk-aware consensual kink' to acknowledge unavoidable risks. Absolute safety cannot be guaranteed, similar to differences between regulated alcohol and unmonitored moonshine. Practitioners are advised to take activities slowly, verify the trustworthiness of educators or tops, and pay careful attention to bodily sensations and feelings.
Read at Slate Magazine
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