"For months after our wedding, I fought the decision, playfully suggesting that my new husband take my surname, Shiozawa. But the idea of a white man taking a Japanese surname when I had three brothers to carry it on - as though that would be the only valid reason to consider it - seemed absurd to everyone else. Never mind that my white mom and sisters-in-law have dutifully taken on a Japanese name without a second thought."
"What I didn't understand then was the way that decision would affect the rest of my life. Two years earlier, at 19, I had visited Japan for the first time on a university study abroad program. For nine weeks, as expected, I immersed myself in my heritage, connecting with host families, practicing language skills, and absorbing Japanese culture."
She resisted changing her surname after marriage, preferring to retain identity while wanting to embrace her husband. She suggested her husband adopt her Japanese surname, but others found a white man taking it absurd despite white relatives adopting Japanese names. Refusal to change would label her a feminist in a conservative community, so she complied reluctantly. Earlier study-abroad in Japan exposed similar exclusion; introductions using family name first prompted strangers to scrutinize her appearance and ask "What are you?" She experienced the same message in both countries: people categorized her as an outsider who did not belong.
Read at BuzzFeed
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