I Really Need My Boyfriend to Go Down on Me. What He Does Instead Is Maddening.

"You resent your boyfriend for only rarely engaging in a sexual act that you say you really need in order to feel loved. This is the essence of your letter. Your problem is not how you taste, the style of your pubic hair, or the amount and degree of praise you dole out when he does perform oral sex on you. So let's focus on the crux of the issue."

"I've asked if it's how I taste or smell, and he said it's not. I asked if he'd like me to shave, and he said no. I've asked what else I can do to make it more enjoyable for him, and he says he does enjoy it, but literally never does it. I asked him why, and he doesn't have a good answer for me, but he genuinely does seem inhibited or scared."

A woman seeks advice about her boyfriend's reluctance to perform oral sex despite claiming he enjoys it and wants to. She has addressed practical concerns like hygiene and grooming, provided positive reinforcement, and offered reassurance, yet he continues to avoid the act, appearing fearful or inhibited. She feels resentful because she performs oral sex regularly and interprets his avoidance as a lack of devotion and care. The advice suggests the core issue is not physical but psychological, stemming from his deep insecurity or fear. The solution involves moving beyond repeated requests and exploring alternative ways to experience intimacy and feel loved within the relationship.

Read at Slate Magazine