"Usually this kind of consternation around the number of male partners a woman has previously had comes from lesbians who tend toward " gold star " thinking and fear that their bisexual partner isn't able to commit to a monogamous relationship, heterosexual men who have a double standard around the permissible sexual conduct of women compared to men (and, specifically, their partners compared to themselves), or people of any gender and orientation who didn't have much sex before they met their partner and are experiencing some combination of jealousy and inability to understand their partner's perspective."
"There's one last main category of folks who are upset by thinking about how many previous sexual partners their mate has had, which Dr. Simon Fokt, philosopher, writer, and specialist in masculinities, describes in this video on YouTube -those whose values are significantly entwined with chastity and want a spouse who shares those values. Since the odds are very stron"
A move leads to finding a partner’s old college journal that reveals more past sexual partners than previously shared. The question centers on whether to confront the partner, but the framing is criticized for focusing on confrontation dynamics rather than the underlying upset. The response argues that reading private material is a privacy breach and worsens the situation for raising the topic. It explains that distress about a partner’s number of past partners often comes from jealousy, double standards, or difficulty understanding a partner’s perspective. It also notes that some people are upset when their values are tied to chastity and they want a partner who shares those values.
Read at Slate Magazine
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