The author chose to keep her married last name after divorce to maintain a connection with her children. With biracial kids, sharing a last name facilitated recognition of her as their mother, especially amidst societal scrutiny. Despite some of her children opting to adopt her maiden name as part of their identity, she held onto the name for its comforting familiarity and representation of their shared history, fearing the vulnerabilities of revealing her divorce to their small-town community.
As the mother of bi-racial children, it wasn't always obvious that I was their mom, yet my identity has always rested in that role as their primary parent.
Our common last name united me with my children in a way our DNA could not. Sharing a last name tells the world you're connected.
Maybe it's my own judgmental nature that led to the decision not to change my name. I am prone to concoct all kinds of fantastical stories about why a woman may have a different last name from her child.
When his dad left home, he was 16, but it wasn't until he moved across the country to attend college in California that he took on the new identity.
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