If my wife and I had been wise (and wealthy) enough to go to couples therapy at the lowest point in our marriage, this is how a therapist might have described us. Shortly after my second affair, shocked and ashamed by my behavior, I began to read books about relationships, got into a men's support group, started going to therapy, and expanded my friend circle...
Pressure kills desire. I used to express feelings of rejection, resentment and hopelessness because my wife and I "had not had sex in so long." My wife would then go to the calendar and identify the numerous times we'd had sex recently. I could see she was right, but I also couldn't change my feelings, because I was dependent on her to change my mood. This inability to soothe my emotions created sexual pressure for her.
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