I Can't Have Kids. My Co-Workers Are Going to Have to Help Me Out a Bit.
Briefly

Share pregnancy news when a colleague is not at work and has time to compose a response so they can process complex emotions. Infertility can provoke intense envy, shame, grief, loneliness, alongside moments of joy and hope. Advance warning from a trusted coworker about impending announcements can help someone prepare emotionally. Explicitly grant permission for the coworker not to appear outwardly celebratory to relieve pressure. Practical submission reminders include keeping questions short, avoiding duplicate submissions to multiple columns, and using pseudonyms to maintain anonymity.
I'd suggest doing it while she's not at work, and ideally when she has time to compose her answer. For me, it was always really hard when I realized someone was pregnant, and often, by the time I found out, they were six months along and showing, and it wasn't really possible for me to process the news before I was expected to congratulate them.
I struggled not only with my intense envy, but also with the shame of knowing that I should be happy for them, along with grief for the old me that was happy whenever someone had this type of news, before I started trying myself and had trouble. So, I think time to process and feel all the emotions-envy, sadness, loneliness, joy, happiness, and hope-was key.
Read at Slate Magazine
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