I Began a Secret Affair With a Woman Online. When I Finally Met Her in Person, I Was Stunned by Who She Turned Out to Be.

"I'm a 39-year-old man, and have been married to my wife, "Ciara," for the past 10 years. We've had some ups and downs, and have been in a pretty rocky state for the past year or so. There hasn't been one big incident; it's mostly career stress, especially since my own job often requires me to take evening/night shifts. While the pay is excellent, we don't see as much of each other as we used to."

"About five months ago, I got very close with someone I met in an online hobby group who went by the name of "Maggie." Maggie was funny, charming, and considerate. She reminded me a lot of my wife before things turned bad. We chatted, first infrequently, then more frequently, then it turned flirtatious, and we finally made plans to go on a date last September."

"I told Ciara I was going to hang out with a friend that Saturday. She didn't seem to care. On the day of, I made my way to the museum we were to meet at and found my wife there. "Maggie" was an e-identity. She didn't realize it was me, and I didn't realize it was her. For the past month or so, we've been trying to reconnect and spend more time with each other physically, but it's just been awkward-especially the sex."

The man is 39 and married ten years to Ciara; increasing career demands and night shifts have produced emotional distance. Five months ago he formed an online relationship with someone using the handle 'Maggie,' which became flirtatious and led to plans for an in-person date that unintentionally reunited him with his wife at the museum. Both partners appear to have sought connection outside the marriage. They have attempted to reconnect physically, but sex remains awkward. He experiences intermittent erectile dysfunction primarily around his wife, while masturbation is unaffected. The dysfunction appears psychological, likely linked to emotional disconnect, regret, and guilt.

Read at Slate Magazine