A partner's request for whether masturbation should be limited is not selfish, as it leads to an imbalance in their sexual relationship. Open communication is essential, as the partner may not be fully aware of the implications of their actions. Scheduling sex and asking for a temporary hold on masturbation can help align both partners' sexual needs. It is crucial to ensure that the relationship does not become one-sided, and both partners should work together to find a resolution that satisfies both their desires.
If you asked her to never masturbate, sure, that would be controlling. But her body has apparent parameters, and you have to work with them.
Maybe ask why. Perhaps this isn't a situation where, oops!, she just happened to masturbate. She may be actively avoiding sex with you.
Ideally, she'd be prioritizing sex with you at least some of the time.
I suggest you try planning sex. Schedule it for when you know you'll be around and ask her if she can hold off from masturbating that day.
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