"Many people struggle with when, why and how to agree to dating exclusively. It is not about control, jealousy or even to get a permanent commitment. It is about having interpersonal safety to explore a relationship to see if it can grow into something more. Knowing how, when and why to talk about exclusivity is key to a successful experience and resolution."
"Unless you have a direct conversation and get an affirmative answer, you can't assume that your dating partner isn't seeing other people. When I ask a client if they are exclusive with a dating partner, it's not that infrequent that they say yes, or they "think so," adding how wonderful the other person is and how warm and into them they are. But then I ask if they had the direct conversation and they say no."
"Before the era of the smartphone, people might have been willing to hang in there longer and give dating partners more chances. It just wasn't that easy to meet people outside of the club scene. So, you might have had a chance to grow on someone. But now, in the current era, one slip or bad date can result in the other person casting their line back into the pond to catch another fish... It's just too easy."
Many people struggle with when, why, and how to agree to dating exclusively. Exclusivity is not primarily about control, jealousy, or immediate permanent commitment; it exists to create interpersonal safety so partners can explore whether a relationship can develop into something more. Clear knowledge of how, when, and why to raise the topic of exclusivity supports a successful resolution. Rapid access to alternative partners via dating apps and faster social dynamics reduce patience and opportunities to grow on someone, increasing the risk of mistaken assumptions. Direct, affirmative conversations are necessary to establish exclusivity.
Read at Psychology Today
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