How to Turn an Argument Around in Five Seconds

"While these moments may seem like an opportune time for partners to hash their problems out completely, more often than not, they end both messily and hurtfully. Thankfully, novel research suggests that this vicious cycle of escalation doesn't have to be the norm in a relationship. In fact, it can be easily short-circuited with one simple tactic: A time-out. In a 2024 study published in Communications Psychology, psychological researchers empirically"

"In long-term relationships, it's not abnormal for small confrontations to snowball into larger ones. Minor grievances seemingly offer partners a soapbox for airing their much greater relational frustrations. And, unfortunately, these exchanges often become far more heated than necessary when met with defensiveness or tension. While these moments may seem like an opportune time for partners to hash their problems out completely, more often than not, they end both messily"

Small confrontations commonly escalate in long-term relationships as minor grievances become platforms for airing larger frustrations and defensiveness intensifies exchanges. A brief pause as short as five seconds during heated interactions significantly reduces aggression between partners and proves as effective as longer breaks of 10 or 15 seconds. The pause works by interrupting affective arousal, a heightened emotional state triggered by emotionally charged stimuli, which otherwise fuels retaliation. Implementing a short time-out before responding can disrupt that emotional escalation and decrease retaliatory behavior, helping de-escalate conflicts and reduce hurtful outcomes.

Read at Psychology Today