"Massey: Alcohol and forced family fun play a role, but underneath it all is our biology. Human beings are one of those species that can't survive alone-we're hardwired for connection because our survival depends on belonging to a tribe. When someone attacks our beliefs, the automatic part of our brain reacts as if we're in danger. It doesn't know the difference between a tiger in the wild and a relative on a rant."
"Massey: Yes-I teach an easy three-step process: (1) honor yourself, (2) honor your neighbor, (3) share your story. Our country was founded on the idea that all people are created equal and endowed with unalienable rights, including freedom of thought and expression. When you stand in that liberty, you don't need others to agree with you. If someone mocks or shames you, that's just their opinion."
Joanna Dodd Massey is a corporate board director and Fortune 500 executive with expertise in risk, governance, and crisis leadership and holds a PhD in psychology. Alcohol and forced family fun contribute to holiday tension, but the deeper cause is biological: humans are hardwired for connection and belonging. When beliefs are attacked the automatic brain reacts as if in danger, triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response that shuts down the rational brain responsible for logic and self-control. An easy three-step process — honor yourself, honor your neighbor, share your story — provides a framework for handling heated conversations so disagreements remain amicable and respectful, demonstrating that people can respect differences and still break bread together.
Read at Fast Company
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