""Desire is boundless, infusing every aspect of our lives," writes Jay Stringer in Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow. "It is the energy force that awakens our curiosity, the fire that fuels our ambition, the longing that propels us toward something more." Research shows that desires do change across the lifespan."
"In addition to our age and life stage, desires can be shaped by what others want us to believe or have. Think advertising. Haven't we all fallen at some point for the latest tech gadget, beauty product, or useful kitchen appliance? On a deeper level, Stringer posits that we have five core longings, explained in his book. Desire for Wholeness Progressing through life, we excavate. At some point, there's a longing to heal childhood wounds and make sense of past circumstances or traumas."
""We all are born with raw, untamed desires: the impulses to play, express ourselves, and connect with others," says Stringer. Parents are wise to cultivate such desires and a child's self-expression, and not to expect a child to navigate their (parental) unfulfilled dreams or baggage. In chapters devoted to wholeness, Stringer encourages readers to excavate within families, explore developmental attachments and trauma, and consider how one feels seen, safe, soothed, and se"
Desire shapes tens of thousands of daily decisions and acts as an energy that awakens curiosity, fuels ambition, and propels longing. Desires change across the lifespan: younger adults pursue growth and purpose while older adults flourish through authenticity and mastered skills. Social influences such as advertising steer wants toward external goods. Five core longings include the desire for wholeness, which prompts excavation of childhood wounds, attachment histories, and family dynamics. Healthy parenting cultivates children's impulses to play, express, and connect, rather than imposing parental unmet dreams. Intimacy requires prior personal growth and healing to form genuine connection.
Read at Psychology Today
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