How I Learned to Stop Replaying a Family Script
Briefly

How I Learned to Stop Replaying a Family Script
"As a writer, I depend on my agent and my editors to help me polish my prose. But before my work's ready enough to give to them, I first count on writer friends. I have three great ones-one is good with psychology, one knows structure, and one I happily pay to do a genius developmental edit. But sometimes, when I am feeling most insecure, I ask other writers for help,"
"My mom immediately took a 3AM flight out of Boston to New York when my loved one had died. She showed up, too, when I was mysteriously, critically ill in a hospital to lovingly tend to me, my husband, and our brand-new baby. Any time I even hinted at unhappiness, my mom was at the ready to pick me up from disaster, make me laugh, and shower me with kindness."
A writer relies on trusted writer friends for psychological insight, structural help, and developmental edits before involving agents and editors. Insecurity can drive a person to seek feedback from others who resemble family figures. A mother and sister provided compassion during crises but withheld praise for success, creating deep dependence on their approval and later ambivalence toward achievements. That pattern fostered self-doubt and sensitivity to criticism. Criticism frequently reveals the critic's own issues rather than objective fault. People can unknowingly pursue relationships that replicate past hurt and may avoid success that once carried high personal cost unless patterns are recognized.
Read at Psychology Today
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