"Reconsider that discipline means to learn, not punish, and aim to build on connection and boundaries that feel fair and consistent to your children, writes Dr David Coleman How do you discipline a teenager who doesn't care about consequences? I hear variations on this question a lot in my clinical practice with teenagers and their parents. When a teenager seems not to care about consequences, it can leave parents feeling powerless."
"For many of us, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that "good parenting" means always having a consequence at the ready. The "if...then..." approach of threatening punishments if they misbehave, may have been the mainstay of your discipline during their childhood years. Join the Irish Independent WhatsApp channel Stay up to date with all the latest news"
Discipline should prioritize learning and relationship rather than punishment. Teenagers who appear indifferent to consequences often trigger parental feelings of powerlessness. Relying solely on 'if...then...' threatened punishments can lose effectiveness as adolescents seek autonomy. Consequences should be meaningful, proportionate, related to the behavior, and applied calmly and consistently. Involving teenagers in setting rules and consequences increases their buy-in and responsibility. Use natural consequences when safe, focus on repairing relationships after misbehavior, and avoid escalating power struggles. Escalate interventions or seek professional support for persistent, risky, or worsening behaviours that exceed parental capacity.
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