Here's How To Tell If Someone Is Using Weaponized Incompetence

"Weaponized incompetence is sort of a household term at this point, as it should be - it's time that all partners step up and pull their weight when it comes to domestic labor. You'd think that the more well-known it becomes, the less likely it'd be for men (the demo usually found guilty of weaponizing incompetence, sorry) to attempt it anymore. It's also true that boys and girls are socialized and raised differently, even in the same families."

"The New York Times references an analysis suggesting that in the U.S., boys aged 15 to 19 do about half an hour of housework a day, while girls do about 45 minutes. While it's not a startling day-to-day difference, it certainly adds up over time, particularly if boys are doing more typically-assigned-to-men chores (like mowing or taking out the trash) but are never taught the correct way to load a dishwasher (and there is one)."

Weaponized incompetence involves intentional underperformance to avoid household tasks, while some partners genuinely lack training and experience. Childhood socialization assigns more unpaid housework to girls, leaving boys less practiced in everyday domestic skills like loading a dishwasher. Small daily differences in chores accumulate into significant long-term gaps in competence and responsibility. Distinguishing feigned incompetence from genuine learning gaps requires observing intent, willingness to learn, and consistent effort. If a partner is eager to be taught and improves with guidance, the issue is lack of opportunity; if avoidance persists despite instruction, the behavior likely functions as deliberate shirking of domestic labor.

Read at Scary Mommy