"His brother died recently and had not been in touch with his mother for decades. She asks about him sometimes but is not in touch. Well, my husband and his stepfather decided not to tell her of her son's passing. I am trying to respect their choice, but I feel uncomfortable with the lie. As a mother of two sons, I would want to know."
"Oh wow, rock this boat! Or at least tell them that this is really not okay. The woman needs to know her son died. Imagine if more time passes and then it comes out that they never told her? That will be even worse! I'm very curious what reasoning they are giving you. I think this is one of those rare scenarios where you might actually have to come close to an ultimatum. Either they tell her, or you will have to."
A newly married woman reconnected with her husband after more than 45 years and is unsettled by a family secret. Her husband’s brother died after decades of estrangement from their mother, and the husband and his stepfather chose not to tell her. The wife feels uncomfortable with the deception and believes the mother would want to know. Some responses insist that withholding the truth is unacceptable and urge confronting the decision-makers. Other responses recommend probing their reasons, cautioning against unilaterally telling the mother and suggesting possible ultimatums if they refuse to disclose the death.
Read at Slate Magazine
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