Help! My Girlfriend Just Announced Her Totally Stupid Life Dream. I Have to Stop Her.

"My girlfriend and I have spent the past two years together. We're young (just 20 and 21, respectively), but I truly believed that we had a future and could make a life together. That is, until she announced that she'd dreamed of living in Europe her entire life and is planning to go through with it. She's talked about her love of Europe for as long as I've known her, but I thought it was just a fantasy. Apparently not. She said she's planning on applying to multiple PhD programs across the pond."

"Prudence, I cannot stress enough how insane this would be of her. We live in the United States, the most developed country in the world. It is the country with the best scientific output, which is very relevant for her as someone who wants to become a scientist. She'll probably have less funding, less opportunities, lower pay. And I don't quite know how to say this, but she's not the type of person who would fit in well in Europe. She's a bit on the uncultured side, and not polite enough for America, let alone Europe. She speaks only one language and shows no desire to learn more. (She says she's tried but that a concussion years ago made it actually painful for her. I think this is a psychosomatic effect of actually having to work at something.) She's a bit of a picky eater too-she doesn't eat nearly as many vegetables as a grown woman is expected to. Europe would probably mock her all the way back home. The worst part of it, though, is the sheer lack of gratitude she's showing by dreaming of leaving. Others risk their lives to come here and have the opportunities she has, and she wants to throw it away."

Two young partners have been together for two years and believed they had a future together. The girlfriend announced plans to apply to PhD programs in Europe, having long dreamed of living there. The boyfriend views the plan as unreasonable, arguing that the United States offers superior scientific opportunities, funding, and pay. He doubts her ability to adapt culturally, criticizes her language skills and eating habits, and interprets her desire to leave as a lack of gratitude for American opportunities. He refuses to relocate because his degree is U.S.-centric and moving would damage his career and disrupt his life.

Read at Slate Magazine