"My wonderful boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly three years. This summer, we moved in together. This has brought us closer, and our relationship has flourished. We have discussed marriage, and I hope that it will be only a matter of time before we take that step. I grew up Catholic, while my boyfriend was "saved" (his words) during high school. My boyfriend's relationship with God is something I admire, but his recent soul searching is somewhat troubling."
"Specifically, he has decided that premarital sex is a no-no-although we've been sexually active since early in our relationship. Not only do I disagree, but I find this change somewhat hurtful and offensive. I view sex as an essential expression of a loving relationship. I have said this, but all he can articulate is that he's not sure what he feels and that he'll continue to pray."
"Your boyfriend's behavior sounds less like a religious awakening and more like one of those disclaimers from a credit card company that states, "Terms and conditions subject to change at any time." I understand how even someone with strong religious convictions against premarital sex ends up indulging anyway. But it's odd that once you moved in together, and sex was available anytime,"
A couple dated nearly three years and moved in together, which strengthened their relationship and prompted marriage conversations. One partner grew up Catholic; the other was "saved" in high school and began renewed soul-searching. The partner who became devout declared premarital sex unacceptable despite an established sexually active relationship. The other partner feels hurt, offended, and views sex as an essential expression of love. The devout partner says he is unsure and will continue to pray. A partner cannot mediate another person's relationship with God. Sudden reversals of behavior can feel like unilateral changes in terms, and the timing after cohabitation raises questions.
Read at Slate Magazine
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