Help! I Want My Husband to Cancel His Annual Vegas Trip. But I Don't Want to Tell Him Why.

A spouse’s past subscription to a friend’s OnlyFans while married has caused lasting hurt and discomfort. The friend lives in Vegas, and the spouse has visited her and her family before, including meeting her once. The relationship had intimacy problems for years, and the discovery of the subscription intensified the emotional impact. Even after the intimacy issue improved and the spouse claims the subscription ended, the original discomfort persists. The question centers on whether to raise concerns in a way that avoids undermining trust, or to reframe feelings that are already clearly upsetting. The response indicates the situation reflects broader problems in the relationship rather than only the trip or account.

"Having friends is great, subscribing to your friend's OnlyFans while married is maybe not great. He hasn't said he's going to see her there and I haven't asked, but I'm feeling worse about it each day. Do I say something and potentially make him feel like I don't trust him at all, or is there a way I can reframe this so I don't feel so bad? -What Happens in Vegas"

"Things aren't going well between you and your husband, and the problem is much bigger than a trip to Vegas and an OnlyFans account. It's a bad sign that you are looking for a way to reframe something that is clearly upsetting to you as not upsetting. It makes me think your husband has you exactly"

"Before we met, he was friends with a cam girl. They were pretty close and even went on a vacation together with her mom. I wasn't bothered by this for the first 12 years we have been together until I learned that despite several years of intimacy issues where he was rejecting any initiation by me, he was subscribed to her OnlyFans account. I was incredibly hurt."

"She lives in Vegas and he has visited her (and her husband and her dog) on these trips before. I even met her once on a different trip (and knowing what I know now maybe explains why she was so cold to me). We've talked about the situation a few times and the intimacy issue has been mostly resolved. Still, I'm feeling uncomfortable with him going on this trip. He says he isn't subscribed anymore and I believe him ... mostly."

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