A mother missed her daughter's overseas wedding because of an emergency surgery and a prolonged recovery, watching the ceremony over Zoom. The daughter reacted angrily, calling her a horrid mother and accusing her of not trying to attend, repeating the accusation multiple times. Tensions escalated during family events, prompting the son to ask the daughter to leave and causing the daughter to risk losing her role as maid of honor. The daughter's quick temper likely stems from exposure to the father's decade-long verbal abuse and accumulated pain. The mother cannot change that history but can address her part by offering empathy, responsibility, and a sincere apology.
I missed my daughter's wedding due to a medical emergency. I had to have an immediate surgery that had a long recovery time. She was getting married overseas, and I couldn't even sit up and walk without help. I saw the ceremony via Zoom and thought my daughter understood the circumstances. We recently fought, and she called me a horrid mother. She said I didn't even try to see her get married, and it was a mistake for her to even bother with me now.
I don't think this is about either of the weddings. When your husband verbally abused you for a decade, your daughter was there too. She was either witnessing the abuse, being abused herself, or both. I'm not at all surprised to hear that she has a quick temper—it sounds like she is following her dad's example, and I bet she is holding onto a lot of pain that makes her feel disproportionately betrayed and offended by life's disappointments, like your inability to attend her wedding.
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