"I'm tempted to tell you to break the news to your mom just to inconvenience your dad. I can't believe he didn't even pretend that his concern about getting divorced would be about anything other than assets. And I would like for your mom to get all the money he fears she will, and to live out the rest of her life financially comfortable-and hopefully with a new and more loyal partner."
"But I want to think about what's best for you, too. I'm concerned about how you'd fare amid the emotional fallout from this revelation (your dad would be pissed at you and your mom might resent you for telling), which would not necessarily even lead to a split. You could just end up with two parents who are in a bad marriage and also unhappy."
"The most important question is, do you want to tell your mom? It doesn't sound like you do. That's OK. It seems your dad is being pretty sloppy, so it would be reasonable to tell yourself that your mom is likely to be confronted with her own evidence before long. Also, given your distant relationship, she's more likely to believe something she discovers herself than a report from you."
An adult child returned to their father's workplace, found him having sex with his secretary, and fled. The father pleaded for secrecy, claiming the mother would take him to the cleaners in a divorce. The child is uncertain whether to tell the mother given a distant relationship. The situation raises temptation to expose the father for retribution and financial justice, but doing so risks emotional fallout: parental anger, maternal resentment, and the possibility that the marriage might remain intact despite revelations. The decision should prioritize the child's wishes, and the father's sloppiness may lead the mother to discover evidence independently.
Read at Slate Magazine
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