Have We Fallen Out of Love With Valentine's Day?

"My daughter came home from school the other day, talking about having to go get Valentine's Day cards. Ugh, oh yeah ... that time of year again. I'll need to get my wife a card as well, I suppose. I know how that "I suppose" might sound, but it's not what you think. My wife actually thinks they're a waste of money. The card is more for the kids than anyone."

"I'm quite lucky in the sense that my wife sees no value in Valentine's Day. Her practical mind says if you want to put money into something, put it into the fund for a new kitchen or patio-not cards or surprise gifts that she probably won't like anyway (my wife is quite particular and would much rather get her own things herself). On a more philosophical note, my wife would say that sharing "love" on Valentine's Day shouldn't be about buying things, but rather showing love in our actions and efforts (i.e., consistent with a previous Valentine's piece I wrote for this blog)."

"I will get my wife flowers, though. She thinks they're pretty and, when put in a vase, liven up a room, especially in the winter, after all the Christmas decorations have come down. Funny, my mother was the complete opposite. She thought flowers were a waste of money and only good for a few days before dying. Everyone's different-and that's an important point. In fact, in my younger years, I didn't see it that way. I would waste my money on stuff my wife (then girlfriend) didn't really like or book an expensive restaurant and get a subpar meal because of the kitchen's level of busyness. It was through trial and error and other variables that life has thrown at us that I started to see her point of view. Instead of going out on Valentine's Day, we started going the weekend before or after. I stopped wasting money on unwanted gifts above and beyond flowers."

My daughter came home from school saying she needed Valentine's Day cards. My wife views Valentine's Day as a poor use of money and prefers savings toward a new kitchen or patio rather than cards and surprise gifts. She believes love should be shown through consistent actions and efforts rather than purchases. She does like flowers because they brighten a room in winter. My mother disagreed, seeing flowers as fleeting and wasteful. Personal preferences differ, and experience led to changed habits: avoid crowded restaurants, go out before or after Valentine's Day, and limit spending to modest, appreciated gestures like flowers.

Read at Psychology Today