"She won't admit it, but I'm hearing from all these helping hands that she showed up late to interviews, didn't send her resume when requested and even failed a drug test. Now she has come to me for help, and I told her I'd let her know. The truth is that I'd prefer not to put my name on the line for someone who is apparently irresponsible. How can I be honest with my friend about these missteps that she never even told me about?"
"Ask her what she wants for her life and how she plans to get there. Inquire as to what her job search has been thus far. Unless you were sworn to secrecy about the other attempts, tell her that you know she has shown up late and failed a drug test. Point out that these things torpedo her chances at getting a job."
A friend who dropped out of college has struggled to find work and sought a referral despite repeated missteps reported by others. The missteps include showing up late to interviews, failing to send requested resumes and failing a drug test. Protect personal and professional reputation by refusing to refer anyone you cannot truly vouch for. Be direct with the person about known problems, ask about goals and job-search efforts, and explain how those behaviors harm hiring chances and the referrer's reputation. Offer to help them improve so a recommendation might be possible in the future. A separate correspondent reports a spouse demanding to see a phone after a late night out, indicating a relationship trust issue.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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