"I was at a party with a woman I went to high school with but haven't seen in years. She spent most of the evening telling everybody who would listen embarrassing stories about me as a teenager. I was so mad. We were not friends back then, but we weren't enemies either. Why would she choose to actively make me uncomfortable? We were at a party with a lot of people I know and a couple of mutual acquaintances."
"I am 40 years old, and I haven't been able to find a job in a year. I have had to move back in with my parents, and it's been a difficult time. I used to work for a good company; I had a great career, and I was doing well financially. I got laid off at the beginning of last year, and I haven't had any luck in finding a new role."
A reunion encounter involved a former classmate recounting embarrassing teenage stories, leaving the writer angry, humiliated, and worried about changed impressions among mutual acquaintances. Suggested responses include not becoming attached to those stories, laughing them off with a phrase like "High school years can be awkward," and avoiding a big reaction so others do not amplify it. A 40-year-old experienced yearlong unemployment, a move back to parents' home, repeated rejections, and eroding confidence. Emotional effects include shame and comparison to expectations. Coping requires maintaining hope, addressing shame, and taking steps to rebuild confidence and resilience.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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