"DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex keeps popping up and treating my family members like they are his family members. We broke up over a year ago, and it was in part because I didn't think he respected my boundaries. For example, he'd show up to milestone events with flowers and gifts, even if I told him in advance I wanted to be with friends or family only. It felt invasive. He never gave me the chance to welcome him into my life; he'd just storm his way in. Because he's nice and would show up with gifts, a lot of my friends and loved ones mistook his visits as romantic gestures. Now he has resurfaced. We have mutual friends, and when we see each other at local events, he still calls my family mom or bro or sis. It feels like he's trying to hold his presence in my life. How do I set a hard boundary once and for all? Overzealous Ex DEAR OVERZEALOUS EX: Tell your family and loved ones that he is stalking you, even though it seems friendly. Ask them to resist welcoming him when he comes around. Speak to him directly and tell him to back off. Your relationship is over, and you have moved on. You need him to do the same."
"DEAR HARRIETTE: The company I work for is known for having a great work-life balance and an overall positive culture that's one of the main reasons I accepted the job in the first place. Unfortunately, I seem to have ended up with one of the few managers who doesn't follow that philosophy. She has a habit of coming in early and staying late, and I've noticed she expects me to do the same. Even if I've finished my tasks for the day, I feel pressured to stay just because she's still in the office. What's been even more frustrating is that she often assigns me urgent projects or last-minute tasks during the final hour of the workday. These aren't true emergencies; they're things that could've easily been delegated earlier, but she phrases them as immediate priorities, so I can't say no without seeming uncooperative. As a result, I'm constantly leaving late, exhausted,"
An ex repeatedly appears at personal milestones, brings gifts, and addresses the narrator's family as if still part of the household, creating an invasive presence despite the breakup over a year ago. The narrator's friends and family sometimes mistake those visits for romantic gestures, complicating boundary enforcement. Advice given includes informing family that the behavior feels like stalking, asking them not to welcome the ex, and directly telling the ex to back off. Separately, a workplace issue arises where a manager who keeps long hours pressures an employee to stay late and assigns last-minute, nonurgent tasks that exhaust the employee.
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