"My boyfriend really upset me recently. We made plans to go out to a restaurant that I've been looking forward to for weeks; it was special to me, and he knew how excited I was. The day before our reservation, he canceled because he forgot he had plans with a friend to go to some EDM event. Not only did he cancel at the last minute, but he didn't make any effort to reschedule or acknowledge how disappointing that was."
"Be the adult here and make the effort to nip it in the bud. Reach out and tell him you need to talk. When you speak preferably in person tell him how disappointed you are in how he treated you. Go for the big picture. Ask him what he wants from your relationship. Tell him what you want. If he is unwilling or unable to step up, that's your cue to walk."
A woman reports that her boyfriend canceled a long-anticipated restaurant reservation the day before to attend an EDM event, made no effort to reschedule, and has not communicated for four days. She feels like an afterthought, questions his priorities, and considers ghosting, confronting, or ending the relationship. The advised response is to initiate an adult conversation, preferably in person, express disappointment, clarify mutual expectations, ask what he wants, state what she wants, and use his willingness or inability to change as the basis for deciding whether to continue or walk away. A second correspondent reports blurting at a coworker after being tired and wonders about apologizing and exercising better self-control.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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