"We all really liked each other, and it felt natural to invite them to stay with us one weekend when a lot of mutual friends were gathering, since they didn't have a beach rental this year. It was great spending time with these new friends, but the husband smoked cigars constantly. He never smoked inside, but the smoke in the backyard wafted everywhere. I have asthma, and it really got to me. I didn't realize how much smoke there was until I started coughing uncontrollably."
"Since you genuinely like this couple and recognize that it was an unfortunate situation that led to mutual discomfort, reach out to them. Tell them that you enjoyed spending time with them and that you are sorry that it ended up awkward due to the cigar smoke and your asthma. Assure them that you didn't realize you would have had such a violent reaction to the smoke. Add that you hope to see them sometime next summer."
A weekend gathering with newly made friends became strained when a visiting husband smoked cigars outdoors and smoke wafted across the property. The host, who has asthma, began coughing uncontrollably and asked the guest not to smoke on the property; the visiting couple shortened their stay and left, and contact ceased. Recommended steps include reaching out and saying that you enjoyed spending time together, apologizing that the visit turned awkward because of cigar smoke and asthma, explaining that the violent reaction was unexpected, and expressing hope to reconnect next summer. A second letter reports feeling excluded by a friend's frequent recounting of activities with others, but that letter is incomplete.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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