""Billy would back me into our bedroom, yelling in my face. He'd curse. He'd tell me that I ruined his life and that I'm a terrible wife and mother. He'd say that everything was my fault and that he was sorry he met me. I'd be sobbing. Whimpering. Shrinking. Trying to explain. In the end, I'd agree with whatever he said and apologize.""
""I'd do anything to make these fights end. But they could go on for hours, sometimes all night. And then I'd have to work the next day. I believed him, that it was all my fault. I just remember trying to not die. When the baby was born, I asked my mom to move in to take him during Billy's tirades.""
Haranguing in coercive-control domestic abuse consists of prolonged, one-way verbal assaults that intimidate, humiliate, and force agreement. These sessions can last hours or days and push targets into silence, submission, and compliance. Verbal assaults establish abusers' sense of ownership and deliberately damage targets' confidence, isolating them from supportive people. Abusers alternate apparent rage with calm to manipulate perceived power, sometimes "losing control to gain control." Targets often internalize blame, alter daily routines for safety, and take protective measures such as involving family. Focusing solely on communication or intimacy does not resolve haranguing or coercive-control abuse.
Read at Psychology Today
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