"My sister openly doesn't like me (and has said so publicly and directly), though we manage well enough for family events. I get along with my brother and his wife, but they are horrible at communication and interact with my sister more frequently. My dad gets along with all of us and is good at communication, but lives in denial of all weird family dynamics."
"Around every holiday season or major family function, I get left out of crucial information regarding plans, transportation, emergency changes, etc. One consistent hurdle: Brother or Dad tells Sister something and assumes she will pass it on to me, and she doesn't. I have explicitly told them both to stop doing this, and they just forget, leaving me scrambling when they ask why I haven't RSVP'd/contributed to a group gift/etc."
A family dynamic leaves one person routinely excluded from logistics because a sister who dislikes them does not pass along information. The brother and his wife communicate poorly and often assume the sister will relay plans. The father communicates reliably but downplays family tensions. Explicit requests to stop relying on intermediaries are frequently ignored, causing scrambling around events. A practical solution is to create a dedicated group text for logistics to centralize information, reduce dependence on a single intermediary, and provide a record of plans. Using a dependable family member as a fallback can work but clearer norms are preferable.
Read at Slate Magazine
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