Research suggests the most exhausting kind of love isn't unrequited - it's the kind where you love someone completely and they love you completely and neither of you knows how to receive what the other is offering because both of your systems were calibrated in homes where love was either conditional, inconsistent, or delivered in a language the other person's body doesn't recognise - Silicon Canals

"Attachment researchers argue that the same system operating in infant-caregiver bonds is at work in adult romantic relationships. Your nervous system arrives in love with a pre-existing template."

"If love in your home was warm but inconsistent, you may have learned that love is something you need to earn back, repeatedly. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy."

Attachment styles formed in childhood influence adult romantic relationships. Early caregiver responses shape beliefs about love, reliability, and self-worth. Inconsistent love leads to feelings of inadequacy, while conditional love creates a divide between being loved and feeling enough. These dynamics can persist even in loving relationships, causing pain and misunderstanding. Recognizing these patterns can help individuals navigate their relationships more effectively and foster deeper connections.

Read at Silicon Canals