"Have you ever frustratingly mumbled to your partner that it "must be nice to have a partner who walks the dog" in hopes of them walking the dog more often? Or have you ever sighed that you'll "just do the errands alone" even though you don't want to? Turns out, you may be dry begging, a tool that people use in relationships of all sorts to get their needs met."
""Dry begging is when someone indirectly asks for something. There's a need there, but they're not stating it clearly," said Aerial Cetnar, a therapist and owner of Boulder Therapy and Wellness in Colorado. Instead of making a straightforward request or voicing a direct want, someone who is dry begging hints at a need or makes a vague complaint, Cetnar added."
""I'll say it can come from a place of insecurity, fear or manipulation," said Tori-Lyn Mills, a licensed clinical professional counselor with Thriveworks in Columbia, MD. But it can also be something that folks grew up with and learned as a way to get their needs met, Mills added. It's also not an official psychological term that you'll find in mental health literature, said Cetnar - "regardless, it's very much a thing.""
Dry begging is an indirect request style where a person hints or makes vague complaints rather than stating needs clearly. Examples include passive comments about chores or plans meant to elicit a partner's action. Dry begging can stem from insecurity, fear, learned behavior, or attempts to manipulate emotional responses. The tactic weaponizes empathy and shifts responsibility onto the other person, potentially exploiting a partner’s role. Dry begging is not a formal psychological term, but it functions in many relationships and is generally ineffective and harmful as a long-term communication strategy.
Read at HuffPost
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