Dear James: Is This Situationship Doomed?

"We started off as good friends and a few months ago admitted we had feelings for each other. She was seeing someone else casually but then had to leave town for a bit. We stayed in touch while she was away, and at one point I traveled eight hours to visit her and meet her family. During this time I fell head over heels for her, and it was clear she was also interested in me."

"Since then, we've had beautiful, romantic moments, although the relationship doesn't feel as magical as it did before. When we talked recently, she told me that she hadn't yet seen others-but because of lack of opportunity, not because she doesn't want to. Meanwhile, I find I'm not being my full self. Typically, I feel secure in relationships. But partly because I'm worried she is seeing others, I've developed an anxious attachment to her."

A 22-year-old woman entered a situationship with a former friend who had been casually seeing someone else. The pair confessed mutual feelings, and an eight-hour visit intensified emotional connection. On return, the other person wanted to remain friends and also requested freedom to see others, while the woman did not want that. Romantic moments continued but felt less magical. The woman stopped being her full self, developed anxious attachment, and began trying to rely less on the partner to avoid resentment. She wonders whether the arrangement can work, whether to cut things off, or how to redefine the relationship.

Read at The Atlantic