
"He showed interest in me, appeared to enjoy doing things with me, and was affectionate, kind, and communicative. But in the first year or two of our marriage, most of that dropped away. When I told him that I didn't feel loved, he didn't seem to care. He apparently believed that once the courtship and honeymoon were over, he could start behaving like an entitled jerk (my words, not his)."
"During my third attempt, about 10 years ago, it became clear to me that my husband was in cognitive decline. I had suspected it for some time, but his behavior as we went over logistics confirmed that he no longer understood what was happening. Now, here I am-the sole caretaker for a husband with full-blown dementia. It's been awful. He rarely speaks to me. When I walk into the room, he doesn't look up."
A 79-year-old woman married for 35 years cares for her 88-year-old husband whose courtship affection faded within the first years of marriage. Multiple attempts to leave failed; about ten years ago cognitive decline became clear and progressed to full-blown dementia. She now serves as the sole caretaker: the husband rarely speaks, avoids eye contact, monopolizes conversation, and offers no gratitude or sexual intimacy. Financial resources are limited to government pensions, paid care is unaffordable, and the husband does not yet qualify for long-term care. Social contacts have drifted away and outings are constrained by his anxiety.
Read at The Atlantic
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