"When you married into your husband's family, they welcomed you as one of their own. If I read your letter correctly, they view you as a family member, and your family as blended into their own. Because you need more privacy and boundaries than you have been able to establish, you may need your husband to help you get the message across in a way they can accept without becoming offended."
"The problem is his family. They're wonderful people who have welcomed me with open arms. But they are also extremely clingy and lack common boundaries. We recently moved to a larger home that's closer to them but farther from my family. Now that we live closer, they constantly pop in unannounced for visits at inconvenient times, such as while I'm getting dinner plated up."
"I have been with my girlfriend for 25 years. We have never married for various reasons. She is in her 60s, and I am 13 years younger. Our sex life isn't so good anymore. As a matter of fact, it is gone. What can I do as a younger man to make her feel special again? How can I light her fire? We still sleep in the same room, but that's about it."
A newly married woman reports that her husband's large, clingy family frequently drops in unannounced, disregards stated privacy preferences, and overwhelms visits. The extended family has attempted to host parties at the couple's home and suggested putting in a pool despite repeated refusals. Her own family's brief visit was overshadowed when multiple relatives arrived and took over, preventing a proper visit. The couple needs firmer boundaries and the husband is advised to help communicate their privacy needs in a way that reduces offense. Separately, a man of younger age in a 25-year relationship reports that his partner, now in her 60s, has lost sexual interest and seeks ways to rekindle intimacy and make her feel special again.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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