Dear Abby: I said I was sorry about my text, but they still won't let me see my grandchild

"It is not unusual for new mothers to gravitate toward their own mothers after the birth of a child. Why do I suspect there may be more to this estrangement than one nasty text written to your son? I wish you had mentioned what may have caused a rift between you and Kayla, whom you say you have loved since she was a little girl."

"The only people who get to see the baby are Kayla's mother and her mother's family. Kayla's parents are divorced, and her father doesn't see his grandchild often either, but it's far more often than my husband and I do. I wrote a text to my son. It wasn't a nice one, but please remember I haven't been able to see my grandchild. I don't know what to do. I'm heartbroken."

A grandmother's son married her daughter's longtime friend, Kayla, and the grandmother felt overjoyed when Kayla joined the family. Kayla and her son had a baby, yet the grandmother was not permitted to see the child; only the maternal family received visits. The grandmother sent a harsh text to her son, later apologized, but remained kept at arm's length. Another pregnancy was announced, leaving the grandmother anxious rather than joyful about future access. New mothers often gravitate toward their own mothers after birth, and there may be additional causes for the rift. The grandmother must accept that she cannot unilaterally fix the situation.

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