"At this point, I'm more angry about his lying than I am about something that happened decades ago. Am I wrong to want the truth so I can get angry, deal with it and then forgive him? I also want a heartfelt apology. HEARTSICK IN TEXAS DEAR HEARTSICK: You do not need the truth so you can get angry. You are already as mad as heck. What you want is an apology from your cheating husband, and you aren't going to get it."
"Thank you for asking. By now you must have realized that you can't buy love. As a psychotherapist, surely you are aware that therapists have therapists of their own (and many need this support). Because you are in pain over something you can't change by yourself, recognize that it's time to become proactive on your own behalf and consult one."
A long-married spouse recalled multiple past affairs; the husband admitted one brief encounter, denied others, and refused to apologize. The betrayed partner wants truth, anger, and a heartfelt apology but remains primarily hurt by the decades-old lying. Professional counseling is recommended to dissipate anger and enable moving forward without guaranteed admission or apology. A 75-year-old therapist reports persistent guilt over parenting three children as a virtual single parent and struggles with their ingratitude. The guidance emphasizes that love cannot be bought, clinicians often seek their own therapy, and proactive personal therapy is advised. Two near-50-year friendships ended over political differences.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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