"One skill I have studied over the course of my 30-year career as a trial lawyer is the art of inquiry. From initial client meetings to preliminary investigation to cross-examination, good information flows from strategic, thoughtful questioning. The same principle is true when building personal relationships. Although the topics will be different, the dynamic is the same: Good conversation sparks chemistry."
"Like what is on their bucket list and why. Learning whether someone is excited to go ziplining, cave exploring, or skydiving also tells you something about their plans and personality, and provides good information for follow-up questions, having identified a topic they are passionate about. Another winning topic in any social situation is someone's children-just make sure to budget time for them to proudly narrate their entire cellular phone photo roll. They will love you for asking."
Strategic, thoughtful questioning—an art developed in professional inquiry—produces valuable information and similarly underpins personal connection. Conversation builds connection through mutual attention, shared interests, authenticity, and respect. Effective social conversation benefits from topic planning, attention to optics, and physical comfort. Asking about passions, such as bucket-list activities, reveals plans and personality and offers follow-up opportunities. Asking about children often engages speakers deeply and fosters goodwill. Presenting as a good conversation partner through comfortable clothing, genuine smiles, and relaxed, open body language increases ease for both parties. Avoid overly personal or invasive initial questions.
Read at Psychology Today
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